20 Days.

It’s really hitting me now.. I have 20 days until my best friend leaves for basic training in the Air Force. Yeah, he will only be a couple hours away, but for 9 whole weeks. 9 weeks of being separated from my best friend, and then 2 years after that. And then who knows after that.. It’s gonna be tough. This guy has been there for me through soooo much, and we have been through a lot together. We became friends my sophomore year of highschool. I admit, I had a crush on him once we started talking and I got to know him. So that summer, my other best friend, Morgan,hinted to him about my feelings, and he said he only wanted to be friends. Of course I was hurt when she told me the news, but the cool part was, he meant what he said, because not one thing changed between us. There was absolutely no awkward stage after that. We just, went back to how we were, and got even closer. Junior year came along, my feelings for him not fading one bit, but still we ended up getting even closer. Then senior year, the year we pronounced ourselves best friends lol. And I know it was true, because that was also the year I made him a giant birthday card, the year we got into multiple stupid arguments, but couldn’t stay mad at each other for more than a day, if even a full day. We talked pretty much every single day that year, during and after school. Even when we didn’t have a class together second semester, we made a little 2 minute gap between 2nd and 3rd pd for a hug and some small talk, and a good 5 minutes at lunch, because we had separate lunches as well. Senior year was also the year I gave it one more shot at confessing my feelings to him. I wrote him a letter, as his graduation gift, talking about all the memories we’ve had and how much I love having him as my best friend, and at the end, I told him that I’d like to have chance with him, as more than best friends. But I also said I would understand if he didn’t wanna be anything more than best friends, because I love our relationship as is as well, and he knew that. So, I gave him this letter on a Friday after school, 2 weeks before graduation. He didn’t have a phone at the time, so I just had to wait until Monday for a response. Monday rolled around and I was pretty nervous. I saw him, and he acted completely normal, but it was just a passing by in the hall. Later on, Marcy called me saying she saw him with his phone, I was a little upset at that point, so I spent my lunch period with Marcy in her class instead. We went to meet him after her class, at his class down the hall. I, of course, was all “No phone, huh?” He responds with, “I just got it on Friday!” I say, “Oh, and you couldn’t text me all weekend?” His response, “I didn’t have any numbers! Just text me later, okay?” So I just stared at him with a face of whatever and said “alright, alright, I’ll talk to you later.” lol. So I texted him later, and actually ended up giving him a ride home after his powerlifting practice that day too, and on the ride home and whole time chillin outside his house, everything was 100% normal. The next day, I texted him asking if he had read the last part of the letter, and what he though about it. In return, he sent me a fairly long text, explaining that he didn’t want to be more than best friends, and his reasons were legitimate. He also said he had a feeling I liked him the entire time, which I found amusing lol cause, even after somewhat knowing I liked him the entire time, he never once acted awkward, different, or weird with me. He was always real with me. And after that convo, in a matter of minutes we were already back to normal. I have a pretty unique relationship with this guy, if I do say so myself lol. I liked him before I was even close friends with him, and we still managed to become best friends. And I’m sure you can tell that he means the world to me and I care about him with all my heart. So, now I’m in my first year of college, he got a job at a restaurant, so of course Marcy and I went and requested him as a waiter, just to harass him a bit hahaha! But hey, we left him good tips lol! He doesn’t work there anymore though, he quit last month as his leave date was getting closer. So since he quit, Marcy and I pay a visit to his house at least twice a week for a bit just to chit chat and be mean to each other haha. And now, I’m down to my last 3 weeks with him. My last 3 weeks with my best friend just down the road. 3 weeks to make a few more memories, have a few more laughs, a few more hugs, and a few more hang out days. It freaks me out and is quite emotional to be honest..it makes my stress levels just skyrocket. I’m just so used to seeing him at least once or twice a week. It’s just gonna be a big change that I don’t know if I’m ready for, but I have to be. I just hope these last 3 weeks go by sssllloooowwwww. I’m gonna miss my best friend like crazy. I have no idea what I’d do without him, there is NEVER a dull moment with him around. We have countless memories and everytime I think of one, I can’t help but smile.(: I am so blessed to have that boy as my best friend, and I know we will always be best friends. I wish he didn’t have to go.. but, I’m so proud of that boy and support him every step of the way on his Air Force journey. I love him.

Until next time loves!

-MidnightMind :*

Tears On Her Prom Dress

I’m apologizing now, cause this story is pulled out of my very own, depressing life events collection. So here it goes.
I don’t know why, but for some reason, I began thinking back to my senior prom. It was back in February, when I was still in high school of course. I vowed since about freshman year that I WOULD NOT attend prom, but of course with the pressure of my best friends, I was forced to go. So, i set out on the search for the “legendary” prom dress. At first, I was looking for anything that caught my eye. I’m not the type of girl that needs an extravagant dress to outdo everyone else, but I did want something a little different that I would normally get. So, keep in mind, before this I had been talking to my friend, who I like very, very, much, about finding a prom dress. I asked him if he was going to get a tux in his favorite colors, red and black. He replied with “I was actually thinking about it:)”. We continued talking and I admitted that I still hadn’t gone dress shopping, and this was about 4 weeks before prom. I told him that I would just go in jeans and boots, problem solved lol, but he told me no and when i asked why he goes “cause I said so:)” haha. So anyway, at the mall, I tried on tons of dresses, none of them quite fitting the way they should have. Finally at the last store, I came across a cute, very simple, dress. A little too simple, actually, but it was a quick find and a steal of a price. The colors, they happened to be red and black. It was black, strapless, kind of short, with a red band under the bust that tied in the back. I got home that night and texted him telling him I found a dress and to guess the colors. He immediately responded with “red and black?” I continued by explaining that it wasn’t a dress I liked so much for prom, but I settled for it. So a couple of weeks later, I began searching online for other dresses, and I came across a beautiful short red dress, with a black band under the bust, and little black flower designs and trimming at the bottom. It was gorgeous, I fell in love with it. Sadly, the dress wasn’t available in my size. ): I told my friend this as well, his response.. “well who’s fault is that if they took to long to find a dress????:)” I responded with “hey! in my defense I wanted to go a long time ago but mom wouldn’t take me! and it’s the websites fault for not having my size!:p” he replied with “oh really:)!!!” we always messed around with arguments like this haha. So, I kept searching, and finally came across what I simply called my dress. In case you can’t tell by now, I was indeed trying to get my friend to ask me to prom, it wasn’t intentional at first, but after I found the first dress that matched his tux color scheme, and bought accessories for it, I decided to keep looking for a red and black dress. So, I found a strapless red dress, it had a band under the bust with a flower like design in rhinestones on the side of the band, and the short skirt of it poofed out just enough, it was adorable. I accompanied it with black floral print tights and a small black shrug. The complete outfit looked great as I tried it on the night it came in the mail. While still having the dress on and sitting on the edge of my bed, I had already been texting my friend since earlier that night, so I told him about this dress, and well, here’s  the conversation:

Me- “my other prom dress came in! it’s prettier than the first one lol”

Him- “what’s the colors?”

my thoughts by this time: oh shit… he’s on to me…. wait, omg what this is a good thing? okay, just act the same, it’s cool.

Me- “red(:”

Him- “you just wanna match me don’t you!!:)!!”

omg, yes! he knows and he seems happy about it! he’s totally gonna ask me! my heart was already racing, I had a smile on my face that would not fade away, my cheeks were already hurting from smiling so much and so big! I continued smiling as I typed back.

Me- “haha well at first I had no intention of it, the first dress just happened to be red and black, but now, yes (:”

Him- “Soooo you tryin to go with me!!:))”

*insert girly squeal here* yes! this was it!

Me- “lmao! honestly, kinda haha, you caught me (:”

omg! next message he’s so gonna ask me to prom! yes! i’m gonna have a prom date! i wonder if he’s gonna flat out ask me? gah, this night was great!

I sat and waited anxiously. I put my phone aside on my bed as I stood up to twirl in my dress. I had a full blown smile on my face, my cheeks were naturally blushed, and for once my heart felt content. I couldn’t believe things were actually happening as I wanted them too. My phone went off and I anxiously grabbed at my phone, clicking on my new message to reveal the question I had been waiting for, so I thought…

this is it! I thought with that same huge smile on my face and butterflies swarming my stomach.

I opened the message and my smile quickly faded.

Him- “Nooo I’m goin by myself. I told you this:)”

He never told me that. I would have remembered if he did. Of course, I pretended as if nothing was wrong as I continued texting him.

Me- “haha you didn’t tell me that sir”

Him- “I did tell you!!!”

Me- “when??! Lol”

Him- “Tuesday!!”

Me- “are you sure?”

Him- “yes:)”

Me- “….I don’t remember lol I’m sorry /:”(i have no idea why i was apologizing…)

Him- “its okay:)lol”

My cheeks got hot, my eyes got warm and my vision blurred from oncoming tears. I threw my phone behind me on my bed. I no longer felt pretty in my dress. I no longer even had a desire to go to prom. All my confidence had just been crushed. I felt so stupid as I sat there, in my prom dress, alone in my room, crying. I cried so much that night. I finally got up to get out of the stupid prom dress. He had no idea what he had just done to me. My heart broke in 2 and sank in my chest. My senior prom wasn’t supposed to feel like this. Yeah, that definitely was a great night.

Not to mention he ended up getting a date to prom about a week later, after that conversation. Yeah. As you can tell I’m still not over this. Or him.